About me
Hello, I’m Emily.
I grew up in a big working class family in the north of England. It was a lively house and everyone expressed their feelings and opinions strongly and loudly.
When I had my own child, almost 9 years ago now, I realised I didn’t know how to hold my feelings while she was having her big feelings. My personal threshold for her distress or anger was very low; I couldn't regulate myself - I either used my partner as a buffer, or withdrew. I struggled with post-natal depression and with self-regulation.
When my relationship at the time broke down it was a big turning point. I know that I had to do something to control my feelings when I was with my infant daughter - I wanted to be the very best parent I could be but I needed the tools to do that. I had a LOT of therapy, researched everything I could about regulation and attachment; and taught myself how to parent peacefully, all while learning how to single/co-parent.
I learnt a huge amount and went on to research parent-child interactions for my psychology masters project. My PhD continues this work: researching what parents can do to help children to calm themselves. I learned that at times when our child is distressed what we say and how we say it can either help them to calm down; or make them more upset.
Being a regulated and present parent is more than knowledge, though. It is the practice of showing up, time and again, when our children are behaving in ways that are intensely triggering. And more importantly, working with ourselves and our child at the times this does not go well.
So, I started working with local parents to share my knowledge and experience and the responses were so positive that ... my parent coaching journey began.
My practice
I work online or in person in my garden studio in South East London SE5 (Loughborough Junction). I work primarily with parents 1:1, and also with parents who want to bring their infant or young child along. I do not work with children or offer diagnostic services.
I believe in nurturing not just parents or children but the parent-child bond as a whole. I offer a judgement-free space full of knowledge, empathy, shared experiences, and science.
My training
I have a Master of Science in Psychology and a Master of Philosophy in Child Development Psychology. I’ve nearly finished my PhD in Child Development. My work researches the micro-dynamics of parent-infant relationships. I focus on attachment (how the secure bond between parent and child develops) and on regulation (how children learn to calm themselves when they are upset). I am particularly interested in what we as parents say and how we say it; and the impact this has on our children.
My training, together with my lived experience, mean I offer science-based parenting coaching with connection at the core.
My experience
The psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott said: ‘There is no such thing as a baby. There is always a baby and someone’. I believe this to be true of parenting. There is no such thing as a parent without the child. I aim to look at the interaction dynamics between parent and child in my practice.
Prior to research, I worked for many years in public policy. Through that I became really interested in the impact of the early years on life chances. Beacause of this I began studying the psychology of the early years 9 years ago, and what it means being a parent and being a child, together.
Over the past 9 years I’ve become a regulated, embodied and present parent, who is able to steer my child through her highs and lows. I now help other parents become the same.
My coaching journey started almost twenty years ago when I worked with significantly disadvantaged adults in the London Borough of Southwark. I’ve carried this experience with me throughout life. It taught me the joy of being compassionate and non-judgemental in human relationships, and I bring that to my parenting coaching.
As a psychologist and as a human I have undertaken psychoanalysis, clinical psychology and have worked with an existential psychoanalyst.
Qualifications and membership
PhD (Psychology) (in progress). Institute of Science and Early Years & Youth, University of East London. Funded by the ERSC. Title: Showing versus Feeling Emotion: Quantifying parent-infant dynamics and dimensions of caregiver responsivity and appropriate/inappropriate parent-child responding–linking to short-term and long-term child outcomes
DPhil (Psychology), Institute of Science and Early Years & Youth, University of East London.
MSc (Psychology), University of East London.
I am registered member of the British Psychological Association and work in accordance with its standards and ethics.
Contact us
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